Here I am in a small dark room
Left so all alone within my tortured soul.
With demons running all around on the loose.
I never should have let them grow.

The torment never really gives me a break,
It's a close friend of my long sleepless nights.
The indigo gloom never ceases to fight
With the dreams the blackness so loves to hate.

I need relief from the vociferous pain
As it's slowly about to drive me insane.
I want out.
(I can't fight?)

Reaching deep into the places that hide
All the things I never wanted to see,
The devils of my soul dig things from so deep
And drag them out to play hide and seek.

The worst thing that they make me endure
Is the fear they will make me see
That the things that I so desperately hide -
I only hide from me.

Will they find the place that I hide
The very lie I can't face in the light.
Let it out.
(It's not right?)

Could it be that they want me to die?
But then who could they torture and break?
I keep thinking if they left me alone,
I wouldn't know joy of their hate.

Is my happiness to them a mistake
Or are mistakes the things that give them their life?
So what I feel, is it real or just fake?
Or is it just destiny's sad flight?

Questions throb between deep darkness and light.
Where truth is hiding,
There is the rest of my life.
(In whose sight?)

May 5, 1994